So Let Mercy Come and Wash Away...

What Hurts the Most, Chapter 3

Sat, 21 Jul 2007 00:13:31 GMT

Here's Chapter 3. There are three more chapters to come. Enjoy and remember to review. Thanks!

Chapter 3: Bulletproof

Sunstreaker’s POV

I watch as Optimus lead’s Side’s back into the caves that we use as our base and I choke back the desire to call out to him; to reassure him that I’m alive and that I haven’t left him. But I can’t. Not yet. He doesn’t know what happened – back on Cybertron ore out here more recently. I’ve done everything I can to protect him. I always will. He is my twin and I love him.

That’s why I left. To protect him. To protect them all. Only Prime knows the truth and soon, Side’s will know and then I’ll let him decide what he wants. I will do whatever he asks of me.

I should have hunted down and destroyed the Seekers back on Cybertron but I didn’t. I knew then that I had to get Sideswipe and Bumblebee back to base or we’d lose them both. I went back later and cut off pieces of the ones I’d killed. I’m not really sure why I did it, or how long I stayed here. I only know I did it; and that I gave those pieces to Prime and he never said a word.

It’s been raining now for days, ever since I left and the rain is an extension of my tears. Not that I can cry, but if I could, my grief and my anger would fill an ocean with tears.

What led me here, standing in the rain, watching my beloved twin from afar, following our leader inside once more? What chain of events caused me to leave him alone, hurting, still recovering? What have I done that rips my core to shreds and makes me feel as if I am bleeding out all that keeps me alive?

What I have done, what I did… are things I cannot change now. I look down at my battered hands and sigh heavily. My paint is chipped and I am heavily dented in more places than I can count. I am missing part of my chest plate and my left optic is dark. At least I still have my voice. At least I still have my life.

The same cannot be said for others.

As I stand here, hidden from my twin and my fellow Autobots, I can vaguely remember a time before I was like this; before I was angry, bitter, harsh and cold. Back on Cybertron I was an artist. I was emotional, caring, friendly and sociable. Back on Cybertron, Side’s was a dealer so to speak. You could take him to any market, anywhere on the planet, and he could haggle and sell with the best of them. He could also infiltrate anything and anyone if need be. That’s what made him so fragging good at his jobs. Not me. Never in a million life times would I have ever guessed that we would become warriors.

And yet we are, two of the best Optimus commands and I’m not saying these things to boast or brag. It’s a fact, much like the fact that this war will never end. But I never wanted my twin to become as I had. It is why I have done the things I’ve done. It’s why I know that, soon, I will have to choose between his life and mine and the choice is already made. There is nothing I wouldn’t give to keep him safe. Nothing I wouldn’t do to make sure he is well guarded, even though he will never know that. He knows he has my love; he is the only person who deserves such an emotion from me. He is the only one who could ever garner such an emotion from me anymore. All he has to do is look at, watch me in a certain way, speak to me in a certain tone of voice, and I am his to command. The ironic thing is, I don’t think he knows that. I don’t think he fully understands what he does to me. I don’t think he ever will.

But I have done things now that may change all of that… I have ended what began so many years ago…

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Sideswipe’s POV

Optimus has led me to his office and we sit in silence for a few moments before he leans back and begins to speak.

“What do you remember about your life on Cybertron, before we all left?” he asks quietly.

“Not much,” I reply, thinking hard. “I remember my time as a marketer, I know Sunny was an artist before the war and that he wasn’t always such a hardass. I remember, just before the last part of the Great War, that he began to change. He would explode at nothing at all and his anger would last for great lengths of time…” I trail off and look up at my leader slowly. “Why do you ask? What has happened to my brother?”

“Please, believe me when I say your brother is alive,” Prime began softly, “and that when you are ready, he will return. But for the moment, I just ask you to listen.” I nod slowly, some of my fear abating. Sunny’s alive. For the moment, that’s all I need to hear. After a moment, Prime looks at me and I nod slowly. “Very well. Many years ago, when we were on Cybertron, just before the end of the Great War, you, Sunstreaker, Jazz and Bumblebee were captured by the Decepticons. You have no memory of this, do you?”

“No,” I answered quietly, wondering why. “Were my memory chips damaged?” Prime slowly shook his head.

“Your brother… how do I explain this…” Prime brought a hand up to his optics and covered them for a moment.

“We obviously have time, Optimus,” I said quietly. “But please, just explain it to me in some way.” He lowered his hand and nodded slowly.

“Your brother has always had your safety and well being first and foremost in his mind, much as you feel the same towards him. Your capture was well planned by Megatron. He wanted your brother to join him and, after being given the proper incentive, Sunstreaker agreed.” I looked at him in shock but I couldn’t speak at that moment. Sunny was a Decepticon? “But it didn’t take long for him to go back on his word to Megatron. All it took was watching you try to save Bumblebee and be shot down for it. Sunstreaker broke and turned on everyone in that room. He killed them all without mercy and managed to severely injure Megatron and Starscream in the process. He freed Jazz and together the two of them got you and Bumblebee back to base. You were dying and Bumblebee’s vocal processors had been destroyed.” I nod slowly.

“I knew Bee had been hurt badly before we scattered, but I never knew how or why.”

“When Megatron told him to give up the location of our base, Bumblebee refused. For his silence, Megatron ripped out his vocal processors, damaging them forever. You were shot in the chest full on by his ion gun and barely survived. Sunstreaker brought you back to base and then disappeared for two whole days. I thought he had returned to the Decepticons and I was fully prepared to go after him if he didn’t return. But he came back…” Prime sighed heavily. “When he returned, he brought with him a bag of parts from all the Decepticons that had taken part in the assault upon you and Bumblebee. He handed it over to me and we never spoke of it again.”

“Why can’t I remember any of this?” I asked softly.

“Sunstreaker had your memory banks erased of the capture, torture and your return. He did not want you to become hardened by all that was happening. It was his way of saving, not just your physical form, but your mental form as well…”

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Sunstreaker’s POV

I remember back to the days on Cybertron when I thought I was going to lose Side’s. I was beside myself with grief. I exploded at everyone and Prowl found that he could no longer put me in solitary. It did no good. I only injured myself. Finally, Prime cornered me and deactivated me. I remember, as I my body began to shut down, that I didn’t want to wake up again if it meant living my life without…

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Sideswipe’s POV

“…his twin. I knew that if you didn’t wake, I would never again be able to bring him back online.” I nodded slowly. I knew this as well. I only wish I had the memories.

“What about now, Prime? Why is he gone? What happened to cause him to erase my memory banks this time?” Part of me was angry, angry that Sunny had thought he had the right to control my life in this manner. How could he do this to me, take away parts of me that I needed to have?

“Several weeks ago, we received word that there was a possible spy among our ranks. Ever since Starscream returned with reinforcements, we knew it was only a matter of time before he struck at us again. During a patrol, Ironhide and Sunstreaker came across what looked like Cliffjumper…”

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Sunstreaker’s POV

…talking with that damn Seeker, Thundercracker, the one most responsible for the assault on my brother all those years ago. I knew Ironhide saw my anger, knew the rage that was flowing through my capacitors, but he kept his peace and we returned to base once more. We spoke to Prowl and he told us there had to be some logical reason for what we saw. I like Prowl as well as the next Autobot, but sometimes, he’s too logical for his own damn good. I knew the reason. The mini-bot was a traitor, but no one wanted to hear that. They all thought I was just being unreasonable, which most of them thought I was full time anyway.

They were wrong…

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Sideswipe’s POV

“…and we paid for our mistake dearly,” Prime finished quietly. I needed a moment to process all of this and I guess he knew that because he didn’t start up again right away. I bowed my head into my hands and just sat there. Sunny’s inability to socialize or function well within our group had caused the others to think him unreasonable and that had led up to whatever had happened to drive him away. Again, part of me was mad at my twin, but part of me was mad at everyone else, too. I slowly raised my head and nodded towards Prime to continue.

“A few days after the sighting, you were out on patrol with Mirage. You split up, agreeing to meet back at base, and not long after, you were ambushed by Thundercracker, Skywarp and Ramjet. During the ambush, you were gravely injured and a weak call back to base fell into Sunstreaker’s hands. He left without warning and no one thought anything of it. When Mirage returned and you didn’t, we searched the message files and found your distress signal. Along with myself, Ratchet, Prowl and Ironhide found the area where you’d been attacked. We were too late to do anything, though.”

“But I’m alive, I mean, what happened?”

“You were barely alive and Sunstreaker had gone almost mad with his fury. Ramjet and Skywarp had been killed fairly quickly, judging by their injuries. Thundercracker, however…”

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Sunstreaker’s POV

…suffered a great deal at my hands. I first blew out his knees, which grounded him for the remainder of his time. I then began to slowly and systematically shoot off smaller body parts as I very calmly reminded him of all he’d done to Sideswipe back on Cybertron. He begged me for mercy, there towards the end, but I was beyond mercy. All I could see before my optics was the sight of my brother… my twin… the other half of my life… bleeding out on that cold, metal floor, fluids covering him, dents and scrapes, his optics fading, his voice harsh from screaming, begging for mercy and it never came. When I finally heard the roar and hum of my comrades closing in, I raised my gun and shot off his head. Before leaving him, though, I ripped off his Decepticon shield and hid it within my chest wall.

I saw the look Prime gave me when he arrived and surveyed the scene before him. It was fear mixed with sadness and I knew my time was short. I knelt next to my brother and held him in my arms, pleading with him to stay awake just a little long. Once Ratchet had him stabilized, we placed him into Prime’s trailer and we headed back to base. I followed close behind; I carried him to the infirmary…

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Sideswipe’s POV

“…and once you were there, Sunstreaker left and went in search of Cliffjumper.” He stopped again and I was glad he had done so. This was all too much to take in. I didn’t understand. I looked up at him and tried to speak, to ask, to say something, but nothing came out. I stood up then and paced the office slowly and quietly.

Sunstreaker had gone beyond a simple rescue and extraction. He had tortured Thundercracker and then murdered him. That alone should have gotten him a trial and a very long time in confinement… I stopped short and looked over at Prime.

“Why didn’t anyone take Sunny into custody after he returned to base?” He looked surprised, as if he hadn’t expected such a question from me.

“We had no idea what he’d done until later, when your memory banks were being searched and erased. You saw everything he did, Sideswipe. You watched your brother kill Skywarp and Ramjet and then torture and murder Thundercracker.” For a moment I didn’t understand what he was telling me and then it set in and I collapsed on to the floor, my back against the wall. Prime came from around the desk and knelt before me. “By the time we knew what had happened, you were awake and he was gone.”

Gone… but gone where… and why… I slowly shook my head. I didn’t understand. I couldn’t make myself comprehend everything and then…

“What happened to Cliffjumper?”

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Sunstreaker’s POV

Prime told me I would need proof of my charge in order to prove my actions had been just. I told him I’d get him his damn proof and I had it, too, but it had come at a cost. I knew I was damaged and I knew my time was short, but I refused to return to that base until Side’s came for me.

I had confronted Cliffjumper the day of Side’s ambush and he’d gotten defensive and told me to take a long walk off a short cliff. I knew he was the traitor but no one else would believe me. They thought I was in shell shock from Sideswipe’s attack. They all knew he was dying. I saw it in their optics. Even Prowl was worried he’d have to deactivate me but I swore I would kill anyone who tried. When Side’s finally woke and I got him back to our quarters, I vowed to find the reason behind his attack, no matter what the cost. Even if it cost me the love of my brother.

I followed ‘Jumper’s trail back to an abandoned building where I found him talking with Dirge. I hadn’t even known Dirge had arrived until then, but it looked as if I’d just taken out half the Seekers without a second thought. Dirge was nervous, I could tell, and the mini-bot wasn’t much happier. I knew then I had the right traitor. I just needed proof.

I followed them back to their base and slipped inside, moving and hiding through the walls, hearing conversations, recording words and pictures as much as I could before trying to get out of there and back to my own base.

Getting out, however, proved much more difficult than getting in…

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Sideswipe’s POV

“Do you know where Sunstreaker is?” I asked quietly, having calmed down a little for the moment. Prime nodded slowly.

“You must understand that, without proof to justify his actions, Sunstreaker will be tried and he will be shut down; permanently. This is not something I can hide any longer. Too many people know what’s happened, or at least they think they know. To allow him to return without anything said or done could cause a mutiny and we can not have infighting if we hope to win this war.” I nodded slowly, almost sadly.

“He wants my permission to come home, doesn’t he?” Prime nodded again.

“He knows what will happen and yet he will face his punishment if it means that you have forgiven him.”

“What if he has proof?” Prime sighed heavily.

“If he has proof than he might be safe. But we still have to deal with his actions towards the Decepticons the day you were attacked. We are not murderers, Sideswipe, you know that.”

“I know, Prime. What must I do to bring him home?”

“Walk outside and wait for him…”

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Sunstreaker’s POV

And so, here I stand, the rain falling all around me, growing heavier by the hour. I hear thunder in the distance and I see lightening begin to flash. I hold the proof of my actions within me and my outward appearance shows how I got away. No one will doubt my loyalty even if they doubt my sanity.

For a brief moment, I look up and as the lightening flashes again I see him walking out of the caves and into the rain. For a moment, I feel something within me tighten, close around me and envelope me and I know it is my core reacting to his. He turns and he looks right at me and I know I have to acknowledge his presence. I step out from behind the tree and for a moment I hesitate. Time is short, but for a moment I am afraid. We look at each other through the rain, across the barren land and then he begins to walk towards me and I towards him.

We meet there, in the middle of the road and he looks at me, sees the damage done to me by our enemies and I know that, if he could cry, his tears and mine would mingle and entwine much the way our bodies do now as he drags me into his arms and tells me I am forgiven…

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Sideswipe’s POV

What else could I do? He is my brother, my twin, my beloved and nothing he does will ever make me feel less for him. As I hold him there in my arms and whisper words of forgiveness that he seems to need so desperately, I realize now what I have been feeling all along. The pain within my chest begins to lessen, it doesn’t hurt now because he’s home, he’s in my arms and I can feel his body against mine once more. Nothing he’s done will ever be enough for me to stop loving him. I tell him that I love him, now more than ever, and he repeats the same to me. And I know, somewhere behind us, Prime is watching, guarding, as he has always done and as he will always continue to do.

My brother is home and he is alive and for now, that is all that matters.

What Hurts the Most, Chapter 2

Sat, 21 Jul 2007 00:10:26 GMT

Chapter One can be found in the previous post. Here is Chapter 2. Please read and review. Thanks!

Disclaimers can be found in the previous chapter.

(Thousands of years ago...)

Cybertron was a world unlike any other during peaceful times. The technology was endless and the abilities of the robots were vast. At peace, life on Cybertron was something everyone there seemed to enjoy.

Cybertron at war, however, was a harsh and deadly world. And so were here children. Especially those led by the young and ambitious one known as Megatron; Megatron, who had betrayed the faith and beliefs of his older brother and had turned his abilities and power towards evil.

It was Megatron who first sought to separate the young mech warrior twins. He wasn’t much older than them and he knew Optimus Prime had been present at their creation. He knew his brother had a soft spot for the brothers and Megatron wanted to take them from him. Specifically the brother called Sunstreaker. He saw within Sunstreaker a coldness and ambition that rivaled only himself. And he saw Sideswipe as an obstacle, something to be cast aside and destroyed.

And so it was that, on one horrible deadly day that Megatron sent the Seekers out after the twins with orders to capture any and all who came in their path, but specifically Sunstreaker and Sideswipe. The Seekers, Starscream, Thundercracker, and Skywarp, returned mere hours later with four prisoners; a talkative show off named Jazz, a youngling called Bumblebee and the warrior twins.

Megatron watched in silent amusement as the four were brought before him. Starscream shoved Sideswipe rather harshly and the mech lost his footing and fell to the ground. Sunstreaker turned immediately and punched the Seeker hard enough to send him flying across the room.

“Touch my brother again and I will kill you slowly, gut you and sell your parts for scraps,” he threatened. Megatron knew he wasn’t kidding. And now, the evil leader had something to use as incentive to keep Sunstreaker at his side. It only took one day of forcing Sunstreaker to watch his twin assaulted by the Seekers before the mech agreed to work with Megatron and his forces.

And all it took to destroy that pact was when, the very next day, he watched as Starscream shot his brother full charge in the chest as Sideswipe tried to rescue Bumblebee from Megatron. Sideswipe lay there, draining vital fluids onto the cold, metal floor as Sunstreaker began to systematically and mercilessly gun down everyone in that room. Only Megatron and Starscream managed to escape with their lives, but they were both severely injured. Sunstreaker’s actions were too late, though, for the younger bot. Megatron had ripped out his vocal transponders and Sunstreaker knew there was no way to repair that kind of damage. He freed Jazz and together the two of them carried their injured comrades back to base.

That night, Optimus Prime began to see the transformation begin in the quieter twin. When Sunstreaker disappeared that night and the next no one knew where he’d gone and no one was foolish enough to ask. Sideswipe lay dying in the infirmary and Bumblebee lay silent in his quarters. Jazz had sequestered himself with Prowl and no one had any answers.

When Sunstreaker returned, he was dented, bruised and looked as though he’d fought an entire war all on his own. In his hands he held a gray sack, which he dropped at Prime’s feet before making his way to the infirmary and to his brother’s side.

“I’m here, Sides,” Ratchet and Prime both heard him whisper. “I swear to you on my very core that I will never let you be hurt again by anyone. And I swear to you, here and now, the I will never leave your side or let anyone ever separate us again.”

Prime later told Ratchet that the sack had contained various parts of each robot responsible for the final assaults against Sideswipe and Bumblebee. He never condemned the younger robot for his actions. Instead, Prime destroyed the sack and kept the incident out of Sunstreaker’s records.

Sunstreaker had made his decisions during those two days he was gone. Upon his return, he asked Ratchet to erase Sideswipes memory banks of everything that had happened to him. Ratchet had reluctantly agreed. That same night, Sunstreaker finally approached Prime behind closed doors and told him everything that had happened and everything he’d done as a result.

As days passed, Sideswipe grew worse and Prime, fearing for Sunstreaker’s sanity, cornered him and shut him down. Ratchet took the now offline twin to the infirmary and secured him to a table near his brother. If Sideswipe woke, they would re-instate his twin. If Sideswipe died, they would leave Sunstreaker off line as well.

It took several weeks before Sideswipe finally opened his eyes. When he turned, he saw his brother and knew Sunstreaker was offline. He begged and pleaded with Ratchet to bring him back but Ratchet refused, stating that, until Sideswipe was completely healed, there was no one to contain Sunstreaker. Sideswipe knew the robot was right and so he focused on getting better so his brother could be returned to him.

When the twins were both finally online once more, Prime noticed the differences and knew nothing would ever be the same again. Sideswipe had returned to them carefree, reckless and full of life once more, but his brother had become vigilant, hardened and cold. As time went on, the twins grew apart and Sunstreaker’s rampages came more frequently and Sideswipe never knew why.

The Great War raged on until Cybertron was destroyed and her children were scattered throughout the universe. Prime wondered when he would find the twins again and if anything would have changed when he did…

Prime POV

My thoughts have taken me to places I have not visited in far too long. By the time we were all reunited here on Earth, we had all forgotten that Sunstreaker would do whatever it took to protect his brother. We also forgot that, friend or foe, to cross one was to incur the wrath of the other. We should have remembered. Megatron and Starscream should have remembered…

As I watch, Sideswipe walks out of the caves and into the rain, looking out across the open road. Once again, there are no memories for him, his brother having done all he could to save not just his physical form but his mental form as well. Once again, Sunstreaker has saved Sideswipe, but at what final cost?

Sideswipe POV

I know he’s alive. I wouldn’t be here if he wasn’t. We can’t live if the other is dead; we wouldn’t want to. It is something we’ve discussed on more than one occasion. So, I know he’s alive, I just don’t know where he’s gone. I feel a faint spark that tells me, no only is he alive, but that he misses me and worries for me. I can only hope he knows that I miss him too. I hope he can feel that, no matter what he’s done, I want him to come back home to me. Yes, I said no matter what.

I hard hushed rumors today. I don’t know if they are true but I heard them nonetheless…

Cliffjumper had been seen with Thundercracker not too long ago…

I was ambushed during my last patrol… ambushed by the Seekers…

Sunstreaker is the one who found me, nearly dead. He proceeded to immediately kill and behead two of the Seekers outright. He then spent his time slowly killing Thundercracker in ways I don’t even want to know…

It was murder, or so I hear, cold-blooded and vicious…

Afterwards, he returned me to base but said nothing to anyone about what had happened to my attackers… and then he went after Cliffjumper…

Two days before I woke, the trouble-making mini-bot went missing… The day after I woke, Sunny disappeared.

Someone said he killed Cliffjumper and Prime had him deactivated for good…

But I still feel him… I know he’s alive and I know…

“Sideswipe?” I look behind me to find my leader watching me, his face a mask of concern and perhaps even a little fear.

“Yes, Optimus?” I answer quietly, almost nervously. Is this it? Is this when he tells me the truth? Is this when I learn that my brother has betrayed me and gone to the other side as some have hinted? Or is this when I learn he really is deactivated and that it’s just my foolish hope that keeps me from accepting the truth?

“We need to talk. I think it’s time.” He turns and without a word I follow him.

Tonight I will find the truth…

What Hurts the Most, Chapter 1

Sat, 21 Jul 2007 00:05:30 GMT

I finally got an LJ and I am now posting my story of What Hurst the Most. Hope you all enjoy and please let me know what you think. This was my very first TF fic and it centered around my most favorite characters, the Lambo twins. Enjoy!

Title: What Hurts the Most

Author: Leslie

Rating: PG-R, not sure, just saying R to be safe for like swear words and such

Characters: Sideswipe, Sunstreaker, Ironhide, Prowl, Prime, Ratchet and a few others

Summary: Sunstreaker walked away… or did he?

Disclaimer: They aren’t mine, they never will be, so please don’t sue me. Thanks!

A/N: The title comes from the Rascall Flatts song “What Hurts the Most” but it’s not really a song fic. I just happened to be listening to the song when this story came to mind. I also took some inspiration from the Nickelback song “If Everyone Cared”.

This is my first Transformers fic and it’ll be 2007 movie verse and since I haven’t seen the series in so damn long, there will probably be cannon issues. Anyway. Please read and review and please be kind. Thanks and enjoy.

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Sideswipe POV

I’m not sure how it happened or even when. All I know is I came online one morning and he was gone. His bunk was empty, everything in our room in its place, and a painting left to dry on the desk in our quarters. I had been in the infirmary for a week and had returned to our quarters the day before. Sunny had been somewhat quiet but he’d done everything he could for me. He’d half carried me down the hallways and into our quarters. He’d put me in the bottom bunk so I didn’t have to try and strain a gasket getting into the top bunk. He’d brought me an energon drink for dinner and sat with me until I faded offline.

The last thing he said to me was that no matter what, he hoped I would always know he’d never be far away from me. I didn’t think anything about it at the time but now… now I sit here in our quarters, on the cold metal floor, and I wait for the day when he comes back because I know he will. He promised he’d never leave me alone. I just wish I could remember what happened before I ended up in the infirmary. I wish I knew what had happened while I was there. No one will talk to me about it. Prowl just tells me not to worry and that it’ll all be okay soon enough. He won’t tell me where Sunny went or if he’s coming home anytime soon. He says very little.

Ratchet just gives me this fatherly look every time he comes to check on me. I think he knows something but he’s reluctant to say. I haven’t dared to ask Prime. There are times when I think he hates Sunny but he’s a leader and leaders don’t hate their warriors. Do they? I’ve seen Prime whenever Bumblebee has been injured. It kills him to leave the little one behind. I remember when we first got him back from the Decepticons all those years ago… his voice box had been ripped out and that wasn’t even the worst of it all. Sometimes I think Prime must have had a hand in Bumblebee’s creation. I’d never ask, but I think maybe Prime knows what it’s like to lose someone that’s close.

Ironhide checks on me, takes me with him on patrol but it’s not the same as it was when Sunny was here. Sunny is my other half, the part of me that’s cold, hard and grounded just like I am the part of him that’s warm, sincere and irrational. We each need the other to survive, so why isn’t he here…

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Ratchet POV

I keep watching the kid wander through the halls looking for all the world like someone kicked his robodog. For all intents and purposes, they might have. Without his twin, Sideswipe is not his normal self at all. In some ways, I think we all knew it would be like this. We all knew that without one, the other would slowly begin to fade away from us. I’ve watched him and I see what he’s doing, even if he doesn’t realize he’s doing it. The humans call it withdrawal, depression, grief. We’re not human but Sideswipe is exhibiting all those symptoms and more. He refuses to recharge unless Ironhide or Prowl drags him down to me and makes him recharge. He’s trying to shut himself down.

I told Prime we should have told him the truth, but Prime wanted to wait. He wanted proof. He needed to be sure. It’s been weeks and that hard-aft yellow bastard is still gone. The blow up leading to his disappearance had been long coming we all knew it. I guess we just all thought Sideswipe’d be able to control him. But then there’d been the accident and the red twin had found himself in my infirmary for a week. His brother had only left his side twice during that whole week, the last time being the catalyst that set all of this in motion.

Prowl keeps telling me that everything will work itself out. I keep telling myself that it’s not going to be that easy. Ever since Prowl and the twins had arrived, along with a dozen others in slow succession, things had not been easy at all. Jazz’s demise had taken a toll on many, especially Prowl. I knew then that Jazz had tried to tell the older autobot goodbye when we’d left at Bumblebee’s signal but Prowl had told him there was not going to be any goodbyes. He’d join us as soon as he could…

Prowl had been the first to arrive after the call sent out by Optimus Prime after Megatron’s defeat. The twins had come shortly thereafter, having been in the state of California when the call had come. Wheeljack arrived a week later with Mirage and Cliffjumper. Personally, it would have been best if Cliffjumper hadn’t come, but I’ll never voice that opinion out loud. Everyone knows how much trouble Cliffjumper causes the twins…

But I digress. I was talking of my twins wasn’t I? I say ‘my twins’ because I probably know more about them – inside and out – than anyone else, including their creator. All I can say, as I sit here in the common room and watch Sideswipe walk back to his quarters, is I hope that someone tells him the truth soon. Otherwise, we’ll have lost them both.

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Prowl POV

I have had great reservations about all of this from the very beginning. I voiced my concerns to Optimus Prime but at the time he simply told me that it was for the best. I disagreed with that assessment, but he is our leader and we follow his lead no matter what. I am his second in command and yet, there are times when I wonder what is going on his cranial unit and why he does not share his complete thoughts and plans with me. Perhaps this time it would have been better had he done so. Perhaps things would not have come to this…

The twins have always been a source of… shall we say interesting times around here. So it was no surprise to anyone that when Sunstreaker disappeared, Sideswipe began to slowly withdraw from everyone and everything. For the last millennia or so, they had never been separated. Ever. Where there was one, you’d find the other and vice versa. Warrior mech twins. I had never heard of such a thing until the day I met them. Imposing. Intimidating. They stood at least a head taller than most autobots, including myself. Everyone seemed to get along just fine with Sideswipe, but most of us stayed far away from Sunstreaker. It was safer that way, for us and for his brother.

Reckless to a fault, both of them, and merciless to any who dared harm the other. This is why we have not told Sideswipe the full truth of his brother’s disappearance. It is why we have not told him about the other missing member of our team. This is why we remain quiet and watch the red mech slowly fade away from us. Because we know that should we reveal the nature of all that happened leading up to his own accident and then to his twin’s disappearance, heads would roll. Literally.

I have a great deal of respect for the twins. They are unique. Granted, there are brothers among our kind, Prime and Megatron prominent among them, but they are few and far between. Twins are all together something rare. It is not supposed to happen, and yet, it did and they are the functioning proof of such. Sustained by a single core of energy that split, they share memories, thoughts, feelings, everything. This is one thing that has me concerned. Sideswipe should know what happened. We did not count on Sunstreaker protecting his brother – and us – throughout all of this. Maybe we underestimated the yellow mech; maybe we should have known better…

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Optimus Prime POV

This was not what I had planned on happening. None of us had seen it coming but I guess, in hindsight, we should have. Sunstreaker warned us when he first arrived but none of us listened to him. None of us ever did listen to him. So different from his twin, Sunstreaker often took the ‘shoot/torture/kill first, question later’ approach. That is not what we are, how we operate. I have heard the whispers, here and back on Cybertron, that Sunstreaker was geared more towards being a Decepticon than an Autobot. The only thing that kept him with us was his brother.

Sideswipe is a good warrior. They both are good warriors. I was there the day they were created, but I was not Prime back then. I was Orion Pax and I was a warrior, much like they are now. I saw what drove Sunstreaker to what he became and I saw what kept Sideswipe from a similar fate. I would do whatever I could for them both, even if there are times when I would like to deactivate the yellow mech. I would never take one from the other.

And yet… that is exactly what I have done. I have done what most would consider the ‘right thing’. Sam has told me of a saying from a science fiction movie that says, ‘Sometimes the good of the many outweigh the good of the few or the one’. I think, perhaps, I should have done what was good for Sunstreaker and told the others to go straight to the pit. He wouldn’t let me, though. He took the decision out of my hands and now he is gone. He has been gone for far too long. I will have to tell his twin soon and that thought alone sends my thoughts back to Cybertron all those centuries ago…

TBC